Nothing At All REWRITE
by Dr.Fail
Summary: Her life was a big rolling ball of suffering now, careening down the slippery slope of madness. He was far ahead of her, but they just had to drag everyone else with them. And it was their fault...M for blood and core, possible character death. Swearing. Sorry previous followers for having to refollow. After victory, true end. Org game normal end canon.


Authors note.

Sorry sorry sorry. I had to take down the original story to let you guys review. I hope everyone realizes this is up...

I realize now, that whatever the hell I did at the beginning, was crap. I thought I was clever. I wasn't.

So...fuck that. I'm tired of being depressed that my, longer fic is being out shined by colossally shorter fics, and bad porn.

Progeroid syndrome- Accelerated Aging if this wiki page is to be believed.

Also, guess who's laptop is falling apart…?

I already lost two keys, the battery wont charge to full, and the charge port keeps falling out of place. Also, the screws are stripped, which means I can't fix one of those problems. Not without prying open the bottom panel and _breaking_ _it_ to get to the wires.

now I have to use a very old keyboard with the letters scratched off, and a power button in one of the worst places…

yaaaay.

You all seemed confused, so I'll list some…"quirks" here.

Reality

"Talking"

 _'thinking'_

 _"PARTICULARLY LOUD AND/OR PANICKED/ENRAGED YELLING"_

 _"Dark/low/quiet/whispering tone"_

 _Mindscape_

 ** _"Mindscape Speech/Special"_**

 **'Mindscape thoughts'**

 **"Divine/Twisted/Demonic/Voice Of The Legion"**

I'll think of something

 _ **POV (FINALLY. NOW STOP BEING CONFUSED** _ please?)

Prototype naming

Prototype/Evolved/Aware view: Alex, Name of Prototype/evolved

Unawares view: Name of disguise.

Point of view taken in third person. Want an example of what I mean?

s/11034056/1/Sudden-Contact Basically like this. Only instead of changing each chapter, It changes mid chapter. Will try to list now.

* * *

 _ **[BLACK BOX RECORDING, X66X YEARS AGO]**_

 _ **[WARNING: DATA PARTIALLY CORRUPTED]**_

 _ **"What do you think it will be like Histoire? Having children I mean…"**_

 _ **"I d% believe they will quickly moved p$$ed what can be considered 'children'."**_

 _ **"Hee hee...Yes. We ( &^$ tend to age fast to a certain p%!nt don't we? Then...its immortality from there…"**_

 _ **"Such a $ *d existence…"**_

 _ **"Very sad indeed...But iv been asking around! I know how to parent!"**_

 _ **"I have faith in you *f%!*e. Will you !* rt some of your knowledge?"**_

 _ **"Of course!...Though, I may give more to one, to give them a big sibling. I doubt I can do it alone b-"**_

 _ **Static**_

 _ **[AN ERROR HAS OCCURRED. RECORDING ENDS.]**_

* * *

Week 4: 95% Manhattan infected.

"Did we say we were going to kill anybody? No. We never said that. Now...we may have _done that_. But we never said we were going to kill anybody! See, _saying_ and _doing_ are two VERY different things. Am I right?"

The two terrified soldiers nodded.

She was a woman. She had blue hair, glasses, and was wearing a priests outfit, unaware or uncaring of what men and women in priesthood wore.

The soldiers were two men who wore green, camouflaged matching uniforms. They had dark, Kevlar vests, and helmets of the same color. Their faces were covered by dark green balaclavas, revealing only their eyes to the world.

They were sitting in an Alley. The solders side by side and the woman away.

They were empty handed.

"But you're not just agreeing with us because we have a _bomb in our hand are you?"_

She had a grenade.

The two marines shook their heads furiously at the growingly hostile tone in the insane woman's voice.

"L-Look mam." The military man to her right said. "You probably suffered a lot. We all have. We can-"

"Now, why..." She rubbed her forehead with her free hand. "Why do you call it that. Suffering? We feel fine. We're perfect now!" She looked at her hostages.

"You see, look in our eyes, our big blue eyes. Do you see any suffering in there? No? How about ecstasy? Oh yes~"

Her ears twitched at the sound of an approaching tank on the street. Patrols. No doubt looking for the two soldiers she captured. She didn't turn her head to the sounds. She recognized them fast enough to just grin at the two unfortunates.

"Maybe they should be a little bit-" She pulled the pin "- _quieter."_

Her hand snapped to the soldier on the rights belt. She pulled on it, lifting his pants up to create an opening, which she used to put her unpinned explosive. She immediately let go and jumped away from the pair, cackling madly into the darkness of the alleys. They both screamed, and the other marine was smart enough to get away instead of helping his partner. The result was one soldier exploding, and the other diving into a pile of trash. He looked to his dead comrade as soon as he recovered, but he was nothing but a pile of blood and mauled flesh...

"Oh my god..." His breathing became heavier as he assessed the situation. He and his patrol had been jumped by some crazy chick in priest get up, throwing grenades at them until only them two remained, to which they were dragged into the alleys and tormented by her ramblings. He was quickly brought to where he was now: Alone in an alley with nothing but his side arm and a few clips of ammo left.

He gripped his head as his world came crumbling down around him. When he was first stationed in New York, he expected things to go smoothly. Protect the city that never sleeps from towelheads. Nothing big. But the disease...

Instead of terrorists, he had to deal with the goddamn zombie apocalypse.

His cousin was in the corps, just like him. He was one of the first ones in, making him one of the many to die.

He didn't lose hope then. But slowly, the virus overtook the city within weeks, making any hope of him getting out of there null. He started making desperate attempts at friendships with his squad, trying hard to fill the gap all of this stress was tearing into him. It was working...

Until they all died.

That was it. That fucking _cunt_ killed his friends.

His family lived in Manhattan.

They died.

His old friends?

They died.

"You..."

He drew his side arm.

 _"YOU FUCKING BITCH!"_

He charged into the shadows and started shooting. He couldn't see much, but he didn't care. He kept running and shooting until he found himself in another alley, full of refugees.

"YOU TRIED TO BLOW ME UP YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

The refugee's cried out and scattered like cockroaches, taking cover and hiding from the mad soldier. A hooded figure sitting slumped behind a trash can looked up when they heard the sound of bullets.

" _WHERE IS SHE_?!" The soldier yelled as he pointed his weapon at a homeless man too slow to flee in time.

"W-whatchu talkin' about? Where's w-who?" The poor man shakingly asked, only to be struck across the face with the madman's gun, knocking him onto the floor.

"PREACHER GIRL, BLUE HAIR! _WHERE?"_

 _"_ I-I can't help you! I didn't see-"

 _Bang._

The unfortunate froze up as a bullet whizzed by his head into the ground.

"I SAID I want some GODDAMN ANSWERS and I want them NOW!"

"Is this how you help your people...?"

The soldier jolted when he heard the female voice. Spinning around, he immediately brought his gun up to the dark figure in front of him. Her reflective eyes pierced his soul, and he was jumpy enough to start shooting.

That was a mistake, because as soon as the bullet hit its target, she lashed her hand out to grab his firearm and _crush it in her palm,_ completely unfazed by the bullet impacting her forehead.

She was wearing a black hoodie too big for her, and she wore the hood over her head low enough to cover her whole face in shadow. She didn't seem to be wearing any pants, but her top was long enough to double as a make shift skirt.

Her other hand wrapped itself quickly around his throat, choking the air out of him. His neck was in pain from the unnatural pressure focused around it, and he felt himself come off his feet.

"What gives you the right shoot at people?" She asked lowly. "What gives you the right to hurt people who have nothing to do with your problems, what gives you the right to violate your duty to protect your country men?"

"Nothing." She pulled his face close to hers. "Not that gun, not that uniform, and not your little president. Or what ever orders you're given."

He gagged for air as he tried to break her grip. He made exactly zero progress in freeing himself.

"Why aren't you at the front lines? Why aren't you there and stopping this crisis? You humans make me _sick."_

His struggles ceased as his consciousness faded, and the woman only scoffed before tossing his body away.

She looked up to the sky.

"Maybe you _were_ right." She scowled as she saw clouds of thunder rolling in. "But I can't give up yet..."

She stared until droplets of water hit her face, then she let her self fall down on her back.

" 'Nothing at all could go wrong' I thought...yeah..."

She closed her eyes in an attempt to find some measure of solace from oncoming storm, and from the hard reality it was accompanied by...

That only served to remind of her of it.

* * *

Week 3 : 60% Manhatten infected

 ** _A HOPFULLY NOT GAY HOODED BASTARD_**

 **'Beep Beep Beep...'**

That was the noise going off in the ear of a gray hooded man, which irritated him to no end as he was busy hooking a live nuke up to a idle helicopter. He glanced to the timer on his right. Two minutes. That's how long he had before this thing went off. It was for that reason why he did not double check his work, and instead immediately rushed to the military chopper behind him. He hopped in the pilot seat, and started fiddling with the controls with a speed and familiarity that would make even the greatest of pilots jealous. Moments later he was taking off, dragging a live bomb with him that was meant for the burning city behind him.

Manhattan, New York. That was the name of the city that burned less than a mile away. It was the city he was born in. The city that he killed in. And the city that he had decided to sacrifice himself to save.

Well...It wasn't so much the city but more so as who was in it.

In the middle of the Big Apple, in the middle of the piles of corpses, was the only person he cared about. The only person he'd ever care about. His sister...that wasn't.

His false leather jacket squeaked as he reached over the controls, deciding he had gotten out far enough to drop this bomb safely without glassing the city his surcoat sister was in. He had spent three weeks believing they were related by blood, only for the revelation to stab him in the heart with a frozen knife.

Her real brother was dead. Died making an attempt on her and everyone else's lives. And she didn't even know it. And if he had his way, she would never know it. And if fate was cruel, she would never leave her coma to find out, granting his wish in such a cruel way. But he wouldn't put it passed fate to do that. Fate was cruel, especially to him.

As he began to make his escape, a loud and a not-distant-enough boom distracted him from his thoughts, and he swiveled his head around to see that his two minutes came up. Hell, it was a miracle he had even gotten this far without it exploding right under him. The explosion was huge. Bigger than any, even the thermobaric tank could dish out, which is to be expected from a nuke. He was even doubting if he had taken it out far enough. But one thing was for sure:

He was directly in its blast range.

The helicopter began to shake as the blast came near, and it wasn't long until he was being completely tossed around.

"DANAAA!" He howled the last thought in his mind, thinking only of his sister. What would she think when she woke up? Will she ever learn the truth?

Will Blackwatch get their hands on her…?

He roared as he decided that he wasn't going to let happen.

The fiery blast consumed the furious eldritch horror, leaving only blackness, his rage filled thoughts, and the cries of his many victims…

Three weeks, one virus, millions dead. And he was there...His name was Alex Mercer…

And his work was far from done.

* * *

 _ **No one in particular**_

"A blood donor…? That's...how you tried to accumulate shares?"

"Yuppers!"

"Oh goodness…"

In a alternate dimension far far away, a midget, a mega midget, and girl with Progeroid syndrome sat together in a fairly brightly lit room, that was far too colorful for a normal person's liking…

And by that, we mean the author's liking. Good lord!

"At least I don't sleep on a blow up bed! THAT POPPED! TWICE!" One of the trio retorted defensively.

"Neptune...please...stay focused." The mega midget warned in all of her tranquil fury.

"He started it…"

The one previously referred to as "midget," had short bright purple (almost pink) hair, with two clips resembling large D-pads. She wore a purple dress, with a white short sleeved jacket over it, that was far too small for her. It was closed with a single, large button with a N on it. The jacket had a large hood on it that remained down, but still hung loosely as it saw little use. On her wrists were two large white rings, and on her neck was a much thinner white ring. She also had blue and white striped leggings, but no red attire to contrast it.

She shut her dark purple eyes, in annoyance. "Insults my house in the reboot but not in the original fic...the nerve."

"Neptune."

"Yeah what is it? I'm kinda irritated right now Histy."

Histy was short for "Histoire". Histoire was the one referred to as the "mega midget", due to her size being the size of a book, as it was blatantly shown at all times, because she always flew around on one.

The twist was she was the book...erm...tome.

The humanoid form on the book however, was what was important. She had wavy blond hair, bright blue eyes, a purple dress, and fairy wings to go with it! She also had a big white head piece, with the same large purple N in the middle.

"P-Please Neptune." The third begged the first. "try and stay focused so we can explain to Histoire what happened!"

Neptune sighed. "I guess the readers want to know too huh...they probably skimmed this part just to find out. Alright fine. Nepgear, be a good little sis and start for me will ya?"

The last was Nepgear, the butt monkey of the Hyperdimension Neptunia series. As you can glean, she's Neptune's younger sister…

Which is where the nickname "girl with Progeroid syndrome" came from. She doesn't really have Progeroid syndrome though, almost the opposite actually! No one in the room actually aged. Neptune was stuck a pre teen in her normal form, and Nepgear was stuck a little older than that. And Histoire...well she's a book.

"Tome"

Whatever.

Despite being the younger sibling of the two, Nepgear was physically, and mentally, the eldest. She was taller, more...grown. And wasn't a massive procrastinator like her sister. The two were still pretty young though, physically at least...and...behaviourally.

Nepgear, like her sister, had bright purple, almost pink hair. Also in common with Neptune, was her dark purple eyes, and love for white clothing. Nepgear wore a white outfit, that was a cross between a sailor's outfit and a stereotypical japanese high school girls uniform. She also wore striped leggings, only it was pink and white, not blue (does no one like red in this universe…?).

These three were special. One, was obviously a talking book lady, but the other two were goddesses.

And they were in trouble with said talking book lady.

"W-well...after you scolded us for lazing around again…" Nepgear nervously played with her hands. Lazing around was something her sister did a lot, and Nepgear always found herself supporting it, much to Histoires frustration. "We wandered around town to find out how to earn back the faith that we gradually lost over time…"

"And then," Neptune butted in. "We ran into Compa, who was giving out these blood donation pamphlets for her school. And then I was like, 'hey! If we help the bloodless by giving them our blood, everyone will love us!' So we decided to go to the nearest vampire and get our blood donated!"

"Um...hospitals don't have vampires sis…" Nepgear sweat dropped.

"Of course they do! How else would they get our blood-"

"YOU ARE GODDESSES!" Histoire suddenly exploded for the second time that day. "BY NO MEANS WILL YOUR BLOOD BE COMPATIBLE WITH ANYBODY ELSE'S, OTHER THAN EACH OTHER OR THE OTHER GODDESSES OF GAMINDUSTRI, AND EVEN THAT IS A STRETCH!"

The sibbling goddess's yelped in surprise at the tiny advisor's sudden explosion. Normally, she would force them both to sit down and endure scoldings that would go on for hours. Normally, it was enough to get them motivated to do their job, but they must have really angered the tiny woman for her to resort to outright shouting.

"HONESTLY!" Histoire continued. "WAS THAT THE BEST YOU COULD THINK OF?"

"Umumumumum" Neptune stammered, trying to form proper words. Her meeker sister couldn't even do that. Just stood there frozen in shock. Histoire seethed for a good few moments before taking a deep breath. "Tell me Neptune, is this how you would have acted if you won the console wars?"

"U-uh" The Goddess rubbed the back of her head awkwardly "...W-well I didn't...think that far ahead." _'and I would have won too, if they didn't all gang up on me unfairly like that.'_ Her expression darkened. _'They all had to make a decision without even asking me. Preaching the new age and...no don't think like that. They're my comrades now…._

 _but how long will that last?'_

"The four of you fought for years. Since you could walk. All to live up to Arfoire's name." Histoire crossed her arms. "You all decided who would become the true goddess via trial by combat. I have no idea why you thought that was a good idea, but honestly! I believe Noire was the only one who knew what she would do next!"

"I cry favoritism!"

"Perhaps you would not be crying at all if you took your work seriously! Your laziness has always been your greatest weakness! Not only does it weaken your nation, but it weakens YOU. And then a catastrophe happens, and you can't stop it!"

"But I eventually do!" Neptune defended "It just...takes me awhile! That's all!"

"And how many times did you narrowly survive your battles while fighting weak monsters in the Ultradimension?"

"...er…." Neptune looked around as she tried to form an excuse. She found one...barely. "H-hey metal dogoos are tough! Y-you know that?"

"Um...I...think the other Noire mentioned having to save you from that one…" Nepgear added in unhelpfully.

"That braggart…!" Neptune cursed under her breath, while Histoire just gave her a dismissive glare. "I rest my case."

"Hey now!" Neptune crossed her arms. "I defeated Arfoire by myself didn't I? With only a few friends, and none of the other CPUs?"

"And then REI came around." Histoire narrowed her eyes.

"U-Uhm…" Neptune faltered. "E-everyone had trouble with her! But I was the one that finally put a stop to it!"

"And the goddesses from the other dimension. All of them. Including the CPU Candidates here!"

"Hey! that's not even remotely fair!" Neptune stopped her foot, but shrunk back when Histoire's expression darkened.

The two Neps both gulped worriedly, and Nepgear decided to cut her sister off before she dug them into a deeper hole. "U-Uh...S-So what now…?"

 _Minutes later_

"NOMORENOMORENOMORE."

Neptune cried as she ran away from flying eggplant like monsters with lances. She detested eggplants like it was an allergy. Histoire knew just where to find them. Monsters liked to stay in certain areas, like how animals like to stick to certain habitats. It was obvious nagging could only go so far, so she used a different strategy.

Now, Neptune was fleeing from the persistent monsters while her two 'friend's' watched on sternly (in Histys case,) and worriedly (in Nepgears case).

"Does she not remember she can transform…?" Histoire quietly fumed at her charges incompetence.

For once, Nepgear did not have an excuse for her sister. She sighed as she watched her sister run deeper in the woods, flailing her arms all the while. The screams eventually got quieter and quieter, before they couldn't hear her at all…

"Uhm…" Nepgear furrowed her eyebrow in worry. "Maybe we sh-"

The eggplant monsters all came flying back out of the woods alone. This time, _they_ seemed to be the ones panicking, and Neptune was nowhere to be seen.

"What is going on..?" Histoire raised an eyebrow, before a scream of pain and fright- _Neptune's_ came from beyond the trees, before quickly and abruptly being cut off.

"NEPTUNE!" Nepgear screamed as she took off in a hurry. Histoire wasn't far behind. Neptune was in danger, which was enough for her to drop her earlier grudge.

They just didn't know just how late they were…

* * *

 _ **NEPTUNE**_

 _"MMMPH MPH!"_

Neptune flailed around in a panic as something black and slimy engulfed her body. When she was running from the eggplants, she had stepped in a puddle that apparently clung to her. She didn't notice until it crawled up her leg and started to dissolve it on the spot, growing and entangling the other all the while, causing her to trip. It quickly worked its way up her body, until she could barely move. She screamed as soon as she realized what was going on, but it filled her mouth with its own gooey, acidic mass, to cut off her desperate cries. Her eye's filled up with tear, as it covered her entire head. She squirmed and thrashed in vain, and even tried to transform.

But before she could even start to enter her Goddess form, something sharp pierced the back of her skull, an overwhelming pressure came around her neck, crushing it to a pulp, and the goo punctured her torso with something sharp, then used the openings to quickly munch on her insides…

She quickly went limp. She was covered head to toe in some kind of twisted slime monster. Unable to fight back, the thing may have taken its sickly sweet time feasting on her body if it wasn't so hungry. Luckily for her, death came quick. But it wouldn't be the end of her suffering.

Not by a long shot.

 _ **ALEX MERCER**_

The Monster of Manhattan opened his eyes with a start. He had survived the nuke...somehow...and munched on whoever was stupid enough to step in his remains.

He wasn't prepared for what he ate.

First off, he had never felt this overwhelmed when assimilating someone's memories. It was so much to take in all at once, it was much more crippling and excruciating than an average humans. He could eat several of those, and not have to personally sort through them until later. But...there was just so _much_ with his last meal that it made him wither.

Secondly, this...girl's DNA (as what the chromosomes were saying) was wrong. There was some bits of genetic coding that he didn't recognize. There were other bits that didn't look like genetic coding at all. At least no any _organic_ coding.

 _'What a...cyborg...on the genetic level…?'_

Organelles were too hard to be made of the same water and protein combo cells were, and he saw an organelle he didn't even _recognize._

It looked like...a power symbol?

He groggily rolled over on his side while spitting out his victims tears. Despite eating a person, he was still hungry. But he was lucid enough to notice he wasn't in New York anymore.

New York didn't have a forest, with glowing pink sigils in the ground.

"NEPTUNE!"

His head jerked to the side as familiarity came over him. He recognized the voice, and he recognized the name. Speaking of, he was still in his last meals form. The owner of the voice was...nep….g….Nepgear. The owner of the voice was Nepgear. Who she was exactly was lost on him for now. He tried to stand back up, whether to greet them or run (fighting while the world was black and white, a sign of near death, wasn't the best idea. Though it was still a valid one.), but the last living Nep pulled Alex into a tight hug. He tensed up and prepared to rip out her spine and eat her brain through her newly acquired orifice, but the throbbing pain in his head, and the note of an extreme anomaly discouraged him from doing so.

The anomaly was a tiny woman riding on a flying book, visibly worried for him. _'No. Not me. This...Neptune_.'

"H-Hi Nepgear." He croaked out, taking a shot in the dark of how Neptune would talk. "Did anyone get the number on that Apache?"

Alex had no idea where he was, and had a terrible sense of humor and judge of character (paranoidly assuming the worst out of everyone). So he didn't realize at the time, he was on another planet.

"U-uhm...what?" Nepgear blinked.

 _'FUCK'_ "I don't feel so good…" Alex let his legs give out when he tried getting up, knowing he was currently too light to flatten the taller girl. Being almost dead had benefits.

"I-its okay sis! I have you!" Nepgear hurriedly tried to pick him up, and he did his best not to squirm or lash out. Logically, Alex could try and kill them both. But he had no idea what the smurf woman was capable of. He also took note of Nepgear referring to him as her sister. Having one of his own...well he was sad to say that the memories made the person, and he consumed and assimilated several memories within his short lifetime to grow a (rather small) conscious. He had a sister who was lost to him...And now so does Nepgear. Empathy was such a psychological flaw.

"Neptune, what happened here?" Said smurf asked in a soft tone. He groaned in pain in response in an attempt to dodge the question. He felt like a kid trying to act sick to their parents.

Nepgear worriedly called her sister's name as Alex curled up. He could feel deceased sister call out in response. Like all of his meals, her voice lingered in his mind. Constantly screaming in agony and horror to what he did to her, stopping only to respond to certain events, or just to try and piss him off- and it almost always worked. His food knew him best, which sucked because they all hated him.

 _ **"Gee, I wonder why you slimy fuck!"**_

 _ **"NOW you develop a little angel on your shoulder huh? Why couldn't you do that when you killed MY SISTER? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO THROW THE CAR MY FAMILY WAS IN?!"**_

 _ **"Poor, poor Mercer. Are you sure you aren't just trying to play human again?"**_

He snarled in anger, and quickly covered it up with a hiss of pain. He was already being carried back…

 _'Soon Dana…'_ He thought to himself. _'I'll be home soon…'_

Neptune only sobbed…

 _ **"Why me…"**_

* * *

AUTHORS NOTE  
Took...so long...

I fear how long it will take me to actually clean up this whole fic. Even this new chapter needs to be polished. I'll actually read them before posting this time.

Also, I DO NOT mean to offend anyone with Progeroid syndrome. Sorry if I did.

Heres an omake for the wait

NOTE, OMAKES ARE FOR AMUSEMENT, AND "PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR BEING AN ASS" PURPOSES. LOGIC, CANON, SCIENCE, AND REAL LIFE DOES NOT APPLY, AND IF IT DOES, NOT MUCH.

Inspired (and TOTALLY NOT STOLEN FROM), Tomska. Funny guy (if depressed and kinda dark). Pizza Time to be specific.

* * *

OMAKE: Split Paths.

"So all I need to do is sit down, get poked with a needle, wait, and then people will like me?"

"Well, it would be nice to know your helping the unfortunates who need a blood donation."

"Coolness!"

Neptune, Nepgear, and Compa stood together around a console. They paid little attention to it, and more so on the piece of paper in Compa's hand. It was a pamphlet for blood donations. And Neptune was just about to sign her name.

Until a bright light burst out of nowhere in front of them and spoiled their day that is. The trio covered their eyes to avoid ocular damage, and Neptune was the first to speak up.

"STOP! I'M YOU FROM THE FUTURE!"

Wait what?

Everyone immediately uncovered their eyes to see a zombified looking Neptune with missing skin and puncture holes throughout her body, and a pair of thick black goggles over her eyes.

Compa blinked.

Nepgear blinked.

One Neptune gawked at her other self.

"...what." Nepgear and Compa blinked.

"The future?" Neptune's jaw dropped before she noticed large white patches all over her counter part. "Wait...is that fat where your skin was? Did I get fat and turn into a zombie?!"

Future Neptune pushed her goggles up to glare at herself. "Like an hour into the future."

"...oh." Present Neptune narrowed her eyes before poking her cheeks, feeling them jiggle a bit. " _Oh_ …."

"Anyway!" Future Nep clapped her hands. "Whatever you do, do NOT donate your blood!" Her tone was serious and cold. "It will trigger a chain of events that will result in the END OF LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!"

"...In an hour?" Present Nep Blinked.

"Well yours. But that's all that matters right?"

"Eh you got a point there...but wait if I don't donate my blood…"

"You'll probably be fine"

"Okay good." Present day Neptune casually tore the pamphlet in half (causing Compa to whine), which caused her future self to vanish. She then turned back to the console with a list of jobs that could make the people love her again. "Ooookay...what about...Pizza Delivery-"

Another flash. Everyone turned to this new Neptune, who had some stupid looking bear mask on her head.

"Okay this is much worse."

"When do I learn to time travel?"

"In the _future_?"

"Oh yeah I guess that makes sense…"

"Look just...pick a different job okay?"

"Uhm...okay?" Old Nep turned and put a finger on the screen. "flying people around Planeptune? I can fly, so I don't need to-"

 _FLASH_

"REALLY ME?! FLYING PEOPLE AROUND PLANEPTUNE?!"

Neptune turned back around to the furious time traveler. "Whats wrong with flying folks around?!"

"WHATS WRONG YOU SAY?" Future Nep held up her left arm, which was large, metal, and black. "I HAVE A BIONIC ARM!"

Nepgear drooled a little, while Neptune grinned brightly. "That sounds AWESOME!"

 _"IT IS!"_ New Nep shouted before suddenly becoming calm. "But I also somehow have AIDS…"

"IN AN HOUR?!" Neptune demanded outrageously.

" _YES!"_

"But our planet doesn't _have_ AIDS!" Compa rebuked. New Nep glared at her and spat at her feet, making all that's present hop away in fright. "It does now. PICK ANOTHER."

"FINE." Neptune angrily turned and picked another option-

 _FLASH_

Another Neptune appeared, this time on with a big four on her chest. She was also on fire.

 _"I'M ON FIRE!"_

Everyone cried out in shock, and Old Nep quickly picked another choice.

 _FLASH_

This Neptune looked completely made out of rocks. She also looked fiercely angry, and had a four on her torn clothes. "Pick another or I'll clobber you." She snarled gravelly.

"Did ANYONE like that movie?!" Another.

 _FLASH_

"EVERYTHING IS...pretty much the same."

Everyone sighed in relief at the new Neps words. Old Nep finally relaxed and put her hand do-

"But gay marriage, is LEGAL ACROSS GAMINDUSTRI!"

"AH- Wait what?" Neptune furrowed her eyebrows.

"Um...isn't that a good thing?" Nepgear tilted her head.

" _Vert."_ Was all Future Neptune had to say to make Nepgear change her mind.

"S-sispickanothernow."

"And I thought I was the selfish one." Neptune deadpanned.

"Also!" Future Neptune clapped her hands. "You end up MARRYING NOIRE."

"WHAT-NO- _BUTIMTOOSTRAIGHT_." Neptune hurriedly picked another immediately, not noticing Nepgear's suspicious stare.

 _FLASH_

"DISNEY BUYS STAR WARS"

 _FLASH_

"WAR NEVER CHANGES!"

 _FLASH_

"WAR _HAS CHANGED_!"

 _FLASH_

" _WAR... **IS CHANGE**_ " That time her head exploded.

 _FLASH_

"...Okay, I admit it. I have no idea how this happened."

Nepgear, Compa, and Old Neptune stared at New Neptune with deep blushes. This New Nep was a guy. A really cute guy from their point of view. Who still wore a short skirt, showing off his legs. His hair was long and loose, giving him a bishounen style look. For a guy like the author, it was nauseating. For those three girls?

Well. Neptune took a picture on her phone before picking another job.

 _FLASH_

" **I am a shadow, the true self-"**

 _FLASH_

 _ **"WHYDIDN'TYOUMAKEHIMBRINGACONDOM!?"**_

 _FLASH_

 _FLASH "HOI I'M TEMMIE"_

 _FLASH_ "ZOMBIE INVASION!" _FLASH_ "CONQUEST ENDING IS CANON!" _FLASH_ _" **NOIRE** BUYS STAR WARS-"_

 _"ENOUGH" CRASH_

Neptune furiously turned and cut the console in half with a Katana, causing it to blow up in her face and New Neptune to fade away. Hopefully for good this time. Neptune stood there seething, trying hard to calm down. "I'M JUST GONNA…GO HANG OUT WITH SOME FRIENDS...maybe co-sing with 5pb...become an idol-"

 _FLASH_

"DON'T TRY OUT IDOLING-"

 ** _"WHY NOT!?"_**

New Nep glared at her old counterpart, before holding up a copy of "Hyperdimension Neptunia Producing Perfection." Old Neptune immediatly realized the message…

"Oh….oh no…"

* * *

END  
I heard that game didn't sell well...So i picked on it...sorry if I went off misinformation.

Also, did you SEE what happened with her and the bee? I need an adult!

Also I'm still not making Alex eat a maker! That'd foil my plans!

Also, prologue inspired by SPAWN the western animation.

Love that guy.


End file.
